As a man living in modern society, we are constantly bombarded with the notion that we should emote more frequently. This is the idea that men should be vulnerable, especially with women. “Get in touch with your feminine side.” I will explore vulnerability in the context of inter-gender dynamics and marriage.
Emoting (as man to your feminine counterpart) like seems like a particularly unproductive and often harmful thing to do. This type of behavior often causes people, even more so women, to lose respect for you.
When we look at the characters in the Bible and the life of Jesus himself, there are no known examples of anyone (that I can find) acting out the display of vulnerability in the way that society describes. From a Christian perspective, these ideas don’t seem the have the ability to reconcile. The bible paints a very different picture.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2nd Corinthians does an excellent job of illustrating the difference between vulnerability and weakness. That may be a good way of thinking about showing vulnerability… “Content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.” (depending on the translation)
These things that are viewed as vulnerabilities are in a sense weakness when the person describing their experience comes from a place of victimhood, scarcity, fear, or self-preservation. An almost identical condition can be described through a lens of truth in the human condition, spoken with confidence, and coming from a place of strength. Can you guess which lens the bible gives preferential treatment? It might be akin to saying “these are the things that would be a weakness without the god of the universe.”
The “boasting of weakness”, described in Corinthians seems to be the right way to go about it.
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:31-32
As disciples of Christ, the truth indeed does set us free. Anything that may be perceived as weakness or as vulnerability through a worldly lens, is not such through the lens of discipleship. Speaking truth and describing events and experiences that we know to be part of the human experience is far from a display of vulnerability or weakness. This is what we are called to do in contrast to the more common social narratives, especially in our relationships.
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. ” – Ephesians 4:25
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” – Ephesians 6:13-14